. . .Hermas is told to understand both angels, but to only trust the Angel of Righteousness. . .~The Shepherd of Hermas
Because I was told from a young age, there is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, I believed it. It was depicted in cartoons and movies, the hero and the villain, drilled into me from youth. I believed that two voices could speak inside of me, one of temptation, lust, sin and evil, and the other of doing what is right, good, upstanding and true. I was at war with myself for years broken in two, always in battle trying to appeal to whichever force was pulling me harder—whatever one could deliver me from myself - divided.
You see, to be a hero I needed a villain, and to be a villain I needed a hero. Thus CONFLICT. Always conflict. I even created conflict in order to feel heroic and ended up being the villain because of my desire to be a hero. I couldn't win for losing and could only lose for winning. I was getting thrashed about on the rocks of life by my own inability to consecrate and integrate the contraries within me.
The final battle had come. I sat alone with my thoughts for a thousand days and ten thousand hours. I got between and behind my devil and angel and watched them war with raging anger. And then in a single divine moment, I yelled "STOP!!!" In that flash of an instant - I KNEW my power. I could see between the motion of chaos and opposites—my divinity. It was mine for the asking. I realized my Soul was angelic and that the world of motion and opposites was like to two devils, forever keeping me broken in half—in an eternal war with themselves—the ouroboros eating itself and never satiating its own appetite. I could not finish anything I started without suffering through it. Now, to work was a joy of such immensity that I knew thusly the secret of creation. My own two hands worked together at last, and there I mastered time with elation.
I found out an interesting thing with my years of study about duality, eventually culminating into triality, which I first encountered in a realization while studying alchemical transmutation. I found out that I could be whole, on a wholly (Holy) different level. I could "rise above" my own internal conflict. I could see the world from my "eye" single. I could unify the opposites within my "SELF" as centre. My body then became an instrument, an appendage to my mind. Something to be used to fulfill my purpose—divine. I learned to listen to the whispers of my soul from the great halls of a silent heaven.
My mind was free to command the opposites within me from my holiest of holies—my heart and mind become one. My body—the divided being that fulfills my desire and purpose, whatever I may choose that to be, was now my servant—no longer my master. The craving, the lust, the desire to "do good," all of it rendered inert. I flipped the script, getting behind motion and my body became my tool of fulfillment and devotion. I came alive at last—captain of my fate, master of my ocean.
I command my body to fulfill and crystallize the thoughts of my mind which I hold for creating. God and I are one. That is the secret of alchemy, the secret of Light—the secret of man's soul. He who knows knows and so becomes. And the world is transmuted into an endless canvas; to paint the glory of your soul's deepest imaginings—a mural of exquisite perfection that you command at your will—adding the brush strokes of experience upon day-after-day, moment-to-moment. The eternal Godhead and well spring of existence became mine as I apprehended the prime actuality. I became the cause of all my own effects—master of my SELF in the realm of triality.
Power is mine. I am power. Mind is my power and my body obeyeth in kind. I am become the harbinger of change—impenetrable from any substance mundane. My devils work for me. My SELF commands my life, my world and my dreams.
Beware lest the world will always try to steal your "self" from you. The world IS the devil—if a man be split in two. When unified in spirit, integrated in mind, and strong in the balance of his heart, man is a walking and talking Light who works knowingly with God. And the darkness comprehendeth him not.
Imaginer | Magician | Wonderer
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